So, I know my NB (New Beginnings) girls will
appreciate this story (and no, I’m not making this up; I came straight to my
computer so I wouldn’t lose the lines.):
I returned home from class at The River, followed by a quick
stop at our favorite Hy-Vee. I needed to unload the car, so I walked in
the front door of our house and said to Karl, “Honey, I thought I would need
you to come with me on a drive to find my pants.” I had a bag in my arms,
and Honor was helping (innocent bystander).
Karl responded, “Excuse me?”
I said, “Well, it’s OK now, but I thought my pants flew out
the window while I was driving. So, I was going to need you to come with
me to find them. But not now.” (Logical, right?!)
Karl responded (with a tone, mind you), “EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY
WERE YOU DRIVING WITHOUT YOUR PANTS?”
So I got mad and snapped back, “Yeah, you’re RIGHT, I was
driving without my pants for all of the world to see my PARTS!” I was
walking and shaking my head in frustration.
He started to respond, so I stopped him and told him the
background: “Remember that pair of pants I have that need to get shortened,
and the zipper seam tore? Well, they were in my back seat. I had
the windows open, because it’s such a GORGEOUS DAY (can you see his eyes
rolling?), and I thought they flew out while I was driving! But they
didn’t; somehow, my computer bag moved forward, the pants fell behind it, and
then my computer back returned to its original position… SO I COULDN’T SEE MY
PANTS. SO, I thought they’d flown out the window!” (BIG DUH,
RIGHT?!)
He said, “Well, excuse me that I didn’t understand; I’m half
asleep.” He walked away, shaking his head.
15 minutes later…
I was in the kitchen almost wetting my pants with
laughter. He asked, “What’s so funny?”
I responded, “What’s NOT funny about The No Pants In the Car
story? I have to tell my NB girls about this! They’ll totally get
it.” The story has thus replayed in my mind, and the hilarity struck me.
He rolled his eyes, “What’s so funny? I wanted to know
why you were driving without your pants on.”
I said, “Excuse me, but really? Why would I be driving
without my pants?”
(Can you see how this is replaying?)
He stated, matter-of-factly,
“Well, I’ve driven without my pants on.”
I said, “EXACTLY. AND
THAT’S WHY YOU’RE A MAN, AND I’M A WOMAN, AND WE ARE EVEN HAVING TO HAVE THIS
DISCUSSION: Because YOU think it’s normal, and the rest of us know it’s NOT.”
He said, “There’s a perfectly good reason I’ve driven
without my pants: I was changing!”
I paused for a few seconds, was walking to the other room,
and then yelled (from the other room), “You can talk to Jesus about that when
you meet Him at the gate!”
He quickly replied, “He’ll understand, and He sure won’t care.”
That, Jesus Girls, is the Art
of Communication Between a Man and Woman. No wonder our relationships are
so crazy some days!
To further affirm my story, after sharing it with my New Beginnings girls, one of them told me her husband told her "that
if he ever pulls up next to you while you’re driving, he will NOT look and will
quickly switch lanes."
P.S. Karl did read the story, too, so it is "fair and balanced."
